If these movies we're people, I'd punch them in the groin. #2

"Diary of a Mad Black Woman"

I knew this one would be trouble from the start.

The second "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" saw me come around the corner, it took off into a furious sprint in the opposite direction. Pumping it's arms furiously as if it we're trying to take flight.

I gave chase. Mentally cursing myself for lacing up my boots instead of my sneakers this morning. I dig the balls of my feet into the ground and explode from my point of origin,hoping to make up the distance.

The pursuit is furious but ultimately short as I quickly overtake "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" by virtue of a healthy diet and regular exercise regime.

I quickly grab onto the back of his shirt collar, pulling him down, pulling me down into a rough tackle onto the sidewalk, scuffing up my right elbow and knee as we hit the ground.

What follows next is a heated tangle of limbs. Mine and his.

"Diary" desperately struggled to free himself, pelting my head and back with a series of blows as I struggle to reach down to the crook below his waist to achieve my mission. Shrugging off a particular jab to the ear I decided it was now or never.

I jammed my bloodied elbow into his groin as hard I as could. Grinding it like a mortar and pestle into the granite under us. I remember there being a strange feeling carnality as I worked his junk into the ground like a farmer sowing his seed.

His scream rattled windows in passing cars."Diary of a Black Woman" flailed madly as I separated from him, narrowly avoid a quick boot to the head.

Getting up, I quickly fled. It felt like miles before I stopped.

Finally crouching in a Wendy's parking lot I wiped some of the dirt of my wounded elbow and caught my breath.

I had never felt more alive.

Sometimes I find myself thinking of him.